I got the call from our fifteen year old daughter, "Have you heard from Dad, he was supposed to pick me up and he didn't show up." My stomach began to twist into knots, my husband was not the kind of man who didn't show up for our kids.

A bit of paralysis, a feeling in my stomach, a tightness in my chest, I had to force myself to breath...

The phone range again, this time my oldest daughter, "I can't find dad, where is dad,", she was getting in the car to go look for him. Twenty minutes later I get the call of her screaming in a panic.

A numbness began to take over, "Are you sure, how do you know!!" Then the Officer gets on the phone, "Mrs. Lewis is your husband a Sergeant with the City of Riverside Police Department, I'm sorry there is no easy way to tell you this." My daughter Kayla, screaming, it's dad, it's dad, I can see him, it's dad!"

Powerlessness, fear, rage....How is this even happening? 

NO, it's not supposed to happen like this!

He was the one who was supposed to be...

Death, we've all experienced it.

It comes in many forms, the loss of a loved one, the death of a marriage, a home, a family, a four legged friend or job. 

My family and I suffered a tragic loss over the Summer, my husband of eighteen years was killed in a motorcycle accident, and with him was the death of who I thought I was and what my future would hold.

I share with you, my heart filled with compassion and understanding as you may be learning to navigate through your own transitions, some abrupt in nature, some more gradual.

Life is filled with many cycles of death, some more difficult than others.   

Today I want to send you feelings of peace and trust and a reminder that you are not alone, you are seen and understood, loved by a source much greater than your own understanding - and it is supporting you on your soul's journey and purpose for this life. 

 There are times when you may have been filled with great fear, endless tears, anger and gut...